Since I have not written in ages I felt the need to offload. Well I thought I’d cracked it with the CBT and meds. Alas the ruminations anxiety, catastrophic thoughts etc goes on. I knew at the time I was having CBT that it wasn’t a cure and that it is a continual vigilance that is needed in dealing with my thought processes. My biggest realisation is that I have one hell of a problem with feeling over responsible for things. The fear of contamination at work or elsewhere is overpowering at times. At least I do get through it to some extent. But it is like a needle getting stuck on a record over and over I get the same fears playing in my mind. I think it’s the fear and my predictions of consequences that really is such a drag.
Well anyway I am still on meds, have tried several times to reduce and just cannot do it mentally or physically. I have been discharged from CMHT care coordination since Spring last yr and am due for discharge with Shrink soon. A trip to GP tomoz is much needed to ensure I have enough meds and to offload a bit.
The battle goes on !
